- The world tells women they need to be beautiful, and if your not you better pound on the makeup.
- The world tells women they need to be fashionable, and if your not you better break the bank to make it happen.
- The world tells women they need to be sexy, and if your not you better try harder by wearing shorter skirts and lower cut shirts.
I haven't always had an unwavering confidence in myself. As a teenager I self conscious and aware of the things that made me different, my imperfections as I saw them at the time. I had oily skin and oily hair, I had acne, I was not fashionable. I think my low self esteem started with a cycle of women in my life and the media.
Growing up I was told when I was pretty, I was told when I needed to wear makeup. There was one time when I revolted when I was 15 and I was scolded for "not trying." It really upset me that I had to "try so hard" to be pretty, when I didn't even care. Everything in the media told me I needed to care as well. All of the movies I watched as a young girl were focused on women being pretty, women trying to get "the man" usually by being prettier, etc (mean girls, so many chick flicks, etc)
But then I started to care. I started caring more and more. I got a lot of pleasure from people telling me I was pretty or that my outfit was cute. At one point in high school I remember keeping a tally in my head of how many times I was complimented during the day. I worried about how I looked to boys and how I looked to girls. I fixed my hair a couple of times a day, reapplied makeup. Got more insecure and started to let relationship guide my choices and decisions because of the sense of worth they gave me.
It wasn't until college right after my freshman year that I realized I was smart. I wanted to be more than pretty. I could be more than pretty. My looks, clothes, relationships didn't define me. What defined me was my inherent worth as a daughter of God. I became more interested in what he thought of me and what I thought of myself.
Once I began to understand where I was deriving my worth I began to take control of my life. Now I am less worried about how I look on the outside, to other people, and am more concerned on how I feel about myself. I want to spend my time trying to become a better person.
Maybe this circle of self doubt is just part of a young girls experience, but I think that can change. There are a lot of companies these days trying to help girls and women realize that their worth is in what they can do and be and not what they look like. I am not talking about manipulative Dove "Real beauty" ads (does anyone else see the irony in a beauty company that relies on the insecurities of women talking about how women need to embrace their true beauty, #notbuyingit) I am talking about real empowerment for women. For example these are the types of things that make me smile every time I see them. People taking the initiative to help girls understand their worth isn't or shouldn't be tied to the way they look.
Monologue over. haha
What is your experience with our beauty obsessed world? How have you overcome it?
Here are links to some awesome organizations trying to change the culture around women http://www.beautyredefined.net
http://therepresentationproject.org/films/miss-representation/
P.S. I totally just realized that the real "Try" music video has been going viral all week. I swear this has been a post I've been working on for 2 weeks ;) haha oh well even if it seems like I am a bandwagoner I still think its important to talk about my feelings with myself
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