The next two weeks are going to be a little crazy since I have my soccer class every morning, Orca 20 hours a week, some reports to send for my research assistant position, and finishing up with my mph project (its under review right now, so close!!)
I got a super cool battle wound from soccer this morning. Cleat to the leg, right above my shin guard. It hurt a little, but mostly just bled all over my sock. haha
I also rode my bike to the frontrunner today and brought it on the train with me. How cool is that?? my plan is to do this everyday until it gets cold again in the fall. So public health I know!
You can tell I wrote this half of the post before I went in to work. It gets a little gloomier now.
My super cool job that I was really excited about decided to cut my position. That was short lived. Basically the CEO decided he doesn't want to apply for grants anymore because they are distracting from product development and he would rather focus on that. I was hired on to do grants and research and they would rather hire another developer so I am out of a job I thought was a sure thing. Ugh.
It's always when everything is going super well and you can't imagine anything going wrong that disappointment strikes. I was pretty upset yesterday. Recently I have been feeling a little lost, I don't really know what I want anymore out of a career. Which makes being jobless kind of difficult. I have no idea what kind of job I even want to apply for now.
It's interesting having had a job in both the public and private sectors. They are so incredibly different. In the public sector it seems to me that people get comfortable in their jobs, things move extremely slow, and making a difference happens in small successes. In the private sector, especially in technology, things move fast, people are excited, but business can be harsh.
Luckily I have a couple of my jobs that will last through June when I graduate and I am so glad I have my shine project job which will continue as long as I want it. Hopefully I can find a job in the next couple of months that I am excited about.
I realize that this isn't a huge trial, its mostly just disappointing, I mean I haven't even graduated yet. For me though, planning out my life is something I can't help myself doing. I was planning on this job for at least 3 years, with its amazing benefits and schedule I couldn't help but love the future I was creating. It'll take me a little while, but I know i'll get over it and realize why this job wasn't the right fit for me. I just heard this quote today and it really brought me a little bit of joy.
"When something hard happens to you, you have two choices in how to deal with it,You can either get bitter, or you can get better. I chose to get better, and it made all of the difference."
I want this to make me better. I want to look back on this disappointment and say to myself, wow I really learned from that experience. I don't want bitterness to eat me up. Here's to get better and job hunting!
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